Seek to understand Crucial Conversations

Seek to understand Crucial Conversations

1. SEEK TO UNDERSTAND CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS

2. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS DIALOGUE ▸ Do you want to have a conversation? ▸ Prove your point? ▸ Victim / Villain

3. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS S.T.A.T.E. ▸ Share your facts ▸ Tell your story ▸ Ask for others’ paths ▸ Talk Tentatively ▸ Encourage Testing

4. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS SHARE YOUR FACTS ▸ Facts are the least controversial ▸ Facts are the most persuasive ▸ Facts are the least insulting

5. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS TELL YOUR STORY ▸ It takes confidence ▸ Don’t pile it on ▸ Look for safety problems ▸ Use Contrasting

6. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS ASK FOR OTHERS PATHS ▸ Be open to learning ▸ Find others’ views on the matter

7. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS TALK TENTATIVELY ▸ Soften the message ▸ “pretending” ▸ Tentative, not wimpy ▸ Don’t be too soft ▸ “This is probably a bad idea, but…” ▸ Don’t be too hard ▸ “That is a stupid idea, how could anybody support that?!?” ▸ Just right ▸ “Is there a big enough risk in our community that we need should do this?”

8. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS ENCOURAGE TESTING ▸ Make it clear that you want to hear ▸ Safety ▸ Invite opposing views ▸ Mean it ▸ Play devils advocate ▸ Obvious motive

9. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS HOW DID WE GET LIKE THIS AND HOW DO WE CHANGE? ▸ It starts with a story ▸ Stacked Deck ▸ Laced Language ▸ Dying to convince ▸ Learn to look ▸ Tone down approach ▸ Catch yourself